A network functions because there's recognition of mutual need. The central idea that many people miss in the professional world is the concept of a finite mutual need. In other words, people tend to keep score since they believe the amount of social equity is limited. It's ideas like:
- I won't do something for you now since you can't do anything for me in the foreseeable future.
- I'll do this for you since you've helped me in the past.
- I'll do this for you now so that you can help me in the future when I need it.
What people are missing is the concept of infinite social capital. Instead of thinking like the above and how you can make someone owe you so you can ask them for favors later, you ought to consider your network of exchanges like the Internet, i.e. everyone benefits with more active connections regardless of which direction the flow is going at the moment.
This is similar to how friendships and relationships should work. You should not be thinking of what you can get from the other person but rather what you can give to the other person. Of course, for anything to last, the reciprocal should also be true. The other person will also give to you whether or not you expect a payback.
The ideal is to transform your professional network into a personal network so that the other person can operate on the same level of trust as you. Granted, this doesn't always work but why not try? A consistent lack of generosity is not a display of rugged individualism but rather a display of blatant selfishness. Individualism is merely maintaining your own identity regardless of outside circumstance. It has very little to do with giving or receiving.
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