[Story] Romance at the Bagel Shop

First wrote this story back in ~2008 as a joke. This has never been posted before so whatever you see is the original drafted back when I was an undergraduate. Not intended as the rating of R but you decide.

Romance at the Bagel Shop

           

            It was like any other Saturday when Sharon walked into the bagel shop. She had the job for a few weeks now and work as always was quite boring. She got along well enough with her coworkers but she found them almost as dull as the taste of the bagel she ate every Saturday morning. There was little expectation from her that folding fermented edibles for most of the day would be exciting but at least she had thought that she could pass her time by chatting with some of her coworkers. She was wrong. Since she couldn’t strike a decent conversation with them, she stuck with her personality and made witty remarks. But this didn’t help either for every joke she made convinced them more that this girl was weird and should be avoided.

            Most of the day passed like the dreary norm. Customers came and went without a care for the boredom of the employees. Though she has been there only a few weeks, she had realized by the third time that the customers thought the workers at the bakery as dry as the food themselves. Sharon got more attention than most but they were mostly from pubescent teenagers or overweight college kids. A few times she saw scrawny nerdy college kids glancing at her. They were generally too shy to look at her directly. Once she had been stared at for a full ten minutes or so by a fat bald guy that must have been the age of her father sitting by the window slowly chewing his sandwich. That was the most attention she had ever gotten at the bagel shop and it was also the creepiest thing that she had ever experienced in her life. Luckily for her, he was not a regular.

She was only too glad that the day was over. Since the manager was out today, she had to close shop. Suddenly, there was the clinging of bells as she heard the door open.

            “We’re closed for business,” said Sharon without looking up as she wiped the last table.

            “Can’t you take one last customer?” she heard a pleasant sound drift over to her. It sounded like chimes tinkling from an ocean breeze in midsummer. It was melodious and contained a certain feminine quality. Yet, it was definitely not feminine.

            She instinctively looked up. The sight that was in front of her made her jaw drop for a full half minute. Standing beside the doorway stood the most splendid figure that she had ever seen. This was no mere pretty hunk of meat. This was perfection in its highest form. If God had meant to make just one man in his image, this guy better be it. To think of any mortal more perfect than him was unimaginable.

            Slowly Sharon motioned him to come to the counter while she slowly walked towards the counter. All the while her eyes never left him. Her attention was so focused on him that she almost tripped over a chair. She saw utter perfection from his shapely legs to his muscular well-defined torso and finally the crowning splendor—the head. His arms were not muscular but neither were they flimsy. He was the same height as her but that was about the extent of the similarity in physique between them. Yet, she didn’t feel any jealousy since to be envious of such divine perfection was just silly. Unless she was a goddess, she was not so foolish as to compare herself with someone as him.

            “What’s your last name, miss?” asked the handsome stranger as soon as she had composed herself behind the counter.

            “My …my name is Sharon,” Sharon stuttered as her face burned.

            She didn’t need a mirror to realize that her face was beet red. Sharon at this point didn’t even care that this was the first time she had stuttered since she first came to America nine years ago. Her attention was focused only on one thing and that was this gorgeous guy in front of her. Her whole body felt as if she was burning on a bonfire. Sharon was utterly captivated by the perfectly-shaped mouth that opened and closed with the neat pearl-white teeth behind it going up and down in perfect unison. Absolutely breathtaking, she thought as she saw the display again. She was not at all bored by the third display of this perfect dance of human orifice nor did she become tired of the fourth display. Actually, Sharon felt that if this could go on forever she’d be satisfied with her life. Even just looking at this tiny part of his face was pure heavenly joy. Only when the display started repeating itself in exactly the same pattern did she get slightly irritated and actually catch what he was saying.

            “Are you alright?” were the words that the guy had been repeating for the last ten times.

            Sharon managed to sputter out a “Yes, I’m fine. My last name is …” before she collapsed on the floor. Apparently, she had been so enthralled by this earthly angel that she had forgotten to breath for a minute or so. Saying a reply was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Luckily for Sharon, the earthly angel had extraordinary reaction time and gracefulness as well as immeasurable beauty. The moment that he saw Sharon start to crumple, he did an aerial over the counter and landed next to the crumpling Sharon. Then he caught her in his arms and swept her from her feet. All this took at most two seconds as confirmed by CCTV cameras later.

            As if by miracle, the sudden motion brought a flow of blood to Sharon’s head and she started breathing again. Slowly, she opened her eyes. He was still holding her with a very concerned look on his face. At that moment, she felt her faint was completely worth it. To be the center of attention of this angel, even if for just a split second was bliss worth a lifetime of waiting.

            “Hello pookie,” she whispered without thinking.

            As soon as she said it, she realized her error. How can she be so stupid as to address this magnificent angel in such a fashion? She closed her eyes tightly and waited for the backlash. Surprisingly, nothing happened. Cautiously, she opened her eyes. He was still holding her with a firm grip on her buttocks and back but his expression has changed. The concerned look has been replaced by a disbelieving look. Sharon shut her eyes again. I knew it, she thought. He’s just thinking of the right thing to say in this awkward situation.

            “You want to go out with me?” the words that she heard was a complete shock—albeit a very good one.

            “Sure,” Sharon finally said after a minute of gaping and wide-open eyes. “But why? You’re too hot to go for someone like me.”

            The guy sighed. Even the sigh was subtly seductive. Sharon involuntarily closed her eyes and shuddered with pleasure. She heard him say, “Everywhere I go women gawk at me. They think I’m absolutely perfect. But they don’t know I’m really shy. I won’t ask people unless they ask me first. You’re the first person that had been brave enough to do so in front of my face.”

            “So what do I get as a reward?” said Sharon half-jokingly. Happiness has been secured and she couldn’t help but revert back to her normal witty self. There was no audible reply from him but she really didn’t care for one. His mouth was already doing something else.